I’M SO MAD
MY MOM JUST SAT ME DOWN LIKE “I found a picture of you on the internet of you in class” AND SHE’S ALL SERIOUS AND SO I’M LIKE WELL SHOW ME THE FUCKING PICTURE OH MY GOD THIS IS AN INVASION OF MY PRIVACY I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS
AND SHE PULLS UP THIS
They showed me this picture in French class. For no apparent reason.
one time when I was about four, the 10 year old neighbour boys attacked me with water guns and when I ran away and told my mom she gave me the hose and set it to pressure wash and basically told me to finish what they started
update: when I told my mom about this post she told me that the boys actually ran to their mom to tell on me and their mom told them that they deserved it because they started the fight and let me continue to pressure wash her backyard and children
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
I saw this post and imagined it with Dave and I just. Oops.
I hope you like it because this took too damn long.
i’m not even going to wait until october this year
the ghost jokes have begun
They know what they did